CORRUPTED BEACON
腐化信标
What’s better than firing a deadly laser beam at a bunch of hostile mobs? Firing a bright purple deadly laser beam, of course! This light is so pretty that I’m often tempted to shine it into my own eyes, but I know that’s a stupid idea, which is why I’ve only done it sixteen times since starting this sentence. And fifty-eight times during this one, even though this sentence is shorter. Weird huh?
有什么比向一群敌对生物发射致命的激光束更爽?发射一束明亮的紫色致命激光束，当然!这光太美了，我常常想把它照到自己的眼睛里，但我知道这是个愚蠢的想法，这就是为什么我从这句话开始只有16句。每一句中又有58词，尽管这句话比较短。不奇怪吗?
PROS: Covers a large area. Aforementioned prettiness.
优点：占地面积大。以及前面提到的漂亮。
CONS: Name sounds distractingly like "bacon" and I’m writing this before lunchtime.
缺点：这个名字听起来像“培根”让人分心，我要在午饭前写这篇文章。
DEATH CAP MUSHROOM
毒蘑菇
My mother always warned me not to eat things with "death" in the name. Then again, Mother also used to feed us nothing but caps, so I really shouldn’t be taking culinary advice from her. Anyway, this mushroom won’t end your life, but it’ll certainly help you take down the lives of hostile mobs. It dramatically increases both your attack and your speed, so make sure you leave "much room" in your inventory for this artifact. HA!
我妈妈总是警告我不要吃有“死亡”字样的东西。再说了，妈妈以前也只给我们吃蘑菇，所以我真的不应该听从她的烹饪建议。不管怎样，这种蘑菇不会结束你的生命，但它肯定会帮助你消灭敌对生物。它将极大地提高你的攻击和速度，所以请确保在你的物品栏中为这个神器留下“很大的空间”。哈!
PROS: Two great buffs for the price of one! The word "mushroom" is never not fun to say.
优点：一个蘑菇两个buff!“蘑菇”这个词从来都不好说。
CONS: Too many of these stupid artifacts are named after food. Did I mention I haven’t had lunch yet?
缺点：这些愚蠢的法器有太多是以食物命名的。我说过我还没吃午饭吗?
TASTY BONE
美味骨头
Despite the misleading adjective, this bone is not a delicious treat (boo!) but an artifact that you can use to summon a wolf companion! This furry friend will independently battle mobs for you, while you sit back and laugh. Oh, unless you want to win. In which case, I’d recommend a less humorous but far more effective ‘stand up and help’ approach.
虽然这是一个误导性的形容词，但这根骨头并不是一种美味佳肴(嘘!)但是你可以用它来召唤一个狼伙伴!这个毛茸茸的朋友会为你独立地与生物战斗，而你却坐在一旁笑。哦，除非你想赢。在这种情况下，我推荐一种不那么幽默但更有效的“站起来帮它的忙”的方法。
PROS: Wolf companion makes exploring dungeons less lonely.
优点：狼伙伴使探索地下城变得不那么孤独。
CONS: I’m lonely because all of my friends with IRL pet wolves seem to keep passing away in wolf-related accidents. :(
缺点：我很孤独，因为我所有的宠物狼伙伴似乎总是在与狼有关的事故中死亡。:(
LIGHT FEATHER
浮流之羽
Succeeding in Dungeons is all about crowd control. Get overwhelmed by hostile mobs and your health bar will soon transform from a healthy red to a significantly less healthy "empty". So this artifact, which pushes back mobs as you tumble forward – and leaves them stunned while trying to remember what game they’re in for a few seconds (Minecraft Earth?) – can be an absolute lifesaver.
在地下城里成功的关键在于控制人群。被敌对的生物所淹没，你的健康栏很快就会从健康的红色变成明显不太健康的“空”。所以这个神器，当你向前翻滚的时候，它会把怪物推倒——让他们在几秒钟内试图记住他们在玩什么游戏(Minecraft Earth?)–这是绝对的救命稻草。
PROS: Effect lasts for 2.7 seconds and it only has a three-second long cooldown, so you can keep, er, "feathering away" to your heart's content!
优点：效果持续2.7秒，只有3秒长的冷却时间，所以你可以保持，呃，“羽化”到你的心满意!
CONS: As an extremely ticklish person, I can’t support any feather, no matter how useful. Sorry.
缺点:作为一个特别怕痒的人，我不能支持任何羽毛，无论它有多有用处。对不起。
WONDERFUL WHEAT
优质小麦(救命稻草?)
Think describing wheat as "wonderful" is a bit much? Clearly, then, you’ve never had the barley-based pleasure of using W.W. to summon a llama companion. Does it spit your enemies to death? No, for that would be disgusting. Keep it in your mouth, reader. It actually attacks hostile mobs in a more traditional way. Hooray!认为把小麦描述为“美妙的”有点过分了吗?很明显，你从来没有享受过利用W.W.召唤美洲驼同伴的那种以麦芽为基础的乐趣。它会把你的敌人吐死吗?不，那样太恶心了。读者，把它放在你的嘴里。它实际上用一种更传统的方式攻击敌对的怪物。万岁!
PROS: Apparently faintly smells of "baked bread". How pleasant.
优点：显然有一股“烤面包”的味道。多棒啊。
CONS: Admittedly, the wolf you can summon with a Tasty Bone is probably a more competent fighter… but where’s the charm?
缺点:无可否认，你可以用美味骨头召唤出的狼可能是一个有能力的斗士……但有什么魅力呢?
GONG OF WEAKENING
弱化之锣
Back in my prime, I used to be gently woken each morning by my faithful butler, Weatherby, delicately ringing a delightful little bell. Alas, these days I wake up each and every morning to the sound of my housemate, Bad Horace, kicking a gong over and over. Still, I’ll admit the Gong of Weakening artifact is great for weakening your enemies. The hum that rings out from this sinister cymbal decreases nearby hostile mobs’ attack and defense. The perfect chance for you to start ringing out the counter-attacks!
在我壮年的时候，每天早上我忠实的管家威瑟比都会轻轻地摇响一个可爱的小铃把我叫醒。唉，这些天我每天早上醒来都会听到我的室友，坏蛋贺拉斯，一遍又一遍的敲锣打鼓的声音。尽管如此，我还是承认“弱化之锣”法器对削弱你的敌人很有帮助。这个邪恶的铙钹发出的嗡嗡声削弱了附近敌对生物的攻击和防御。这是你开始反击的绝佳机会!
PROS: Significantly better than the Gong of Making Your Hair Fall Out, an artifact I suggested to the Dungeons development team constantly until they rang the Gong of Making Tom Go Away.
优点:比让你头发掉下来的"锣"要好得多，这是我经常向《我的世界地下城》开发团队建议的一个工件，直到他们敲响了让汤姆离开的锣。
CONS: I miss Weatherby :(
缺点：我想念威瑟比：(
LOVE MEDALLION
爱心奖章
Love? What is this "love" you speak of?
爱?你说的“爱”是什么?
I decided to consult my beloved dictionary and find out:
我决定查阅我心爱的字典，发现：
This magnificent medallion can turn up to three nearby hostile mobs into unhostile mobs for ten seconds.
这个华丽的徽章可以让附近三个敌对的生物变成可控制的怪物，持续10秒。
Hmmm? What does "unhostile" mean, you ask? Let’s break out that dictionary again!
嗯...?你会问，“不存在”是什么意思?让我们再把那本字典翻出来!
Oh. Mean.
哦。卑鄙。
... Anyway, these once-hostile mobs will stop attacking you, and for the next ten seconds, will become your unlikely allies! They’ll attack your enemies for you, although sadly not my new enemies at the dictionary.
... 不管怎样，这些曾经敌对的怪物会停止攻击你，在接下来的十秒钟里，他们将成为你不太可能的盟友!他们会为你攻击你的敌人，虽然不幸的是不是我在字典里的新敌人。
PROS: Turning enemies into friends is a wonderful message for today's youth (if you look past the witchcraft/brainwashing).
优点：把敌人变成朋友对今天的年轻人来说是一个很好的信息(如果你不看巫术/洗脑)。
CONS: 30 second cooldown time is three times as long as its 10-second effect, so best pair it with another artifact for (yes!) lovely results.
缺点：30秒的冷却时间是10秒效果的三倍，所以最好将它与另一个法器配合使用(是的!)不错的想法。
SOUL HEALER
灵魂治疗器
“I better watch my health,” is something I say to myself a lot when playing Dungeons. Fun fact: It’s also something I’ve never said outside of playing a videogame. Now let me just pour myself another large glass of gravy and tell you all about the Soul Healer. Several artifacts can harvest the souls of hostile mobs into some of the most powerful buffs in the game. This one heals you in exchange for collected souls, and all with just a one-second cooldown!
“我最好注意我的健康，”这是我在玩地下城时经常对自己说的话。有趣的事实：这也是我在玩电子游戏之外从未说过的话。现在让我再给自己倒一大杯肉汁，告诉你关于灵魂治愈者的一切。一些法器可以将敌对生物的灵魂收集成游戏中最强大的buff。这一个治疗你交换收集的灵魂，只需要一秒钟的冷却!
PROS: You also get +1 soul gathering every time you use it, meaning you can instantly reap more souls.
优点：每次使用它你也可以获得+1灵魂采集，这意味着你可以立即收获更多的灵魂。
CONS: None! Well, I suppose that whole ‘reaping the souls of the dead’ thing is a little morally queasy, but that’s why we added the key golem, this charming golden cutie, to distract you:
缺点：没有!好吧，我想“收割死者灵魂”这件事在道德上有点不对劲，但这就是为什么我们加上了关键的傀儡，这个迷人的金色小可爱，来分散你的注意力：
Look at this delightful door-opener! Doesn’t it just make you want to smile and not think about the horrifying moral implications of soul harvesting? Us too! Yay!
看看这个令人愉快的钥匙!它不只是让你想笑而不去想灵魂收获的可怕的道德含义吗?我们也是!耶!
CORRUPTED SEEDS
腐化种子
Introduced as part of the Jungle Awakens DLC, these seeds swiftly grow into vines that entangle and poison your enemies. Handy, as keeping hostile mobs a safe distance from yourself is vital in Dungeons. But hang on... I was under the impression we were here to save the jungle from jerks? Is it really heroic to fill said jungle with poisonous plants, I ask you? In using this artifact to battle monsters, have we not become the monsters ourselves? Oh, I hear someone ringing the Gong of Stop Being Pretentious so let's move on.
在丛林觉醒DLC时，这些种子迅速生长成藤蔓，缠绕并毒死你的敌人。方便，因为在地牢里，保持敌方怪物与你的安全距离是至关重要的。但是挂在…我还以为我们是来拯救丛林的?我问你，用有毒的植物填满丛林真的是英雄吗?使用这个法器来对抗怪物，难道我们自己没有变成"怪物"吗?哦，我听到有人在敲锣叫别装腔作势了，我们继续吧。
PROS: Seeds become vines in a split second! Whereas usually growing plants and crops take aaaaaaaages, which is why I strongly believe no one should bother growing anything at all. Any farmers reading this, please quit your jobs immediately.
优点：种子会在瞬间变成藤蔓!然而，通常种植植物和作物需要时(很久)间，这就是为什么我坚信没有人会费心种植任何东西。
CONS: These literally-groundbreaking seeds are the final artifact in my list, which means this figuratively-groundbreaking article is over. Bye!
缺点：这些突破性的种子是我法器列表中的最后一个，这意味着这篇具有象征意义的开创性文章已经结束了。再见!
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